BPD
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Unforgiveable?
In active addiction I was a lying full-of-shit liar. Some of you, I’m sure, can relate. Most of the time, my lies were a way of explaining emotions I had little capacity for processing or understanding. On other occasions, they were a means of boosting my non-existent self-esteem. I was a furious anger-ball with a… Continue reading
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I AM Liminal Space…
I would like to thank Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie and Friday Faithfuls for the inspiration responsible for this post. Every piece of my life is liminal space at the moment. It’s as if I’m wrapped in a chrysalis that’s slowly fossilizing and I can’t breathe; because I know once the process is complete I’ll be trapped in… Continue reading
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Detour to the “Blank Space”
Today I feel numb, which is a self-defense mechanism for some of us with Borderline Personality Disorder when we’re experiencing too much emotion. Instead of feeling it — especially if it happens to be negative — we just shut down (emotionally speaking) and hibernate in what I call the “blank space.” It takes a lot… Continue reading
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Circling the Rabbit Hole
Quick update regarding F***ck: Chase (my baby brother) read his text messages at 5:41 PM yesterday evening — thank God for those receipts — so I know that he’s at least alive. You wouldn’t know it to look at me now but I was once a pretty damn impressive competitive athlete. I’m 5’8″ and my… Continue reading
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Puff, Puff, I Ain’t Givin’ It Up!
I vape like a dragon, smoke curling from the left side of my mouth or spouting from my nostrils — always tinged with the barest scent or flavor of vanilla. I am aware that this sounds a bit absurd and slightly immature; but, bear with me. The First Habit to Go Left Me Seeing Hell-Hounds… Continue reading